remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
