around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
