What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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