ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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