whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
