Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
