i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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