Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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