did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
