i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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