We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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