Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
