a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
