he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
