38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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