This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
