Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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