She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
