Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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