"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
