She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
