well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
