listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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