I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
