I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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