I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
