I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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