I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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