:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
