make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
