She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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