Texts From Last Night

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  (641): View more from Iowa

  literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs

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  (641): literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs http://tfl.nu/fh11
  Replies (17) Good night (4429) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

  (216): View more from Ohio

  did she say where she was going

  (740): View more from Ohio

  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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  (740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j
  Replies (45) Good night (3646) Bad night (633)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.

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  (407): We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab. http://tfl.nu/iyx8
  Replies (14) Good night (4654) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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  (571): She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/q72a
  Replies (24) Good night (1445) Bad night (3583) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.

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  (313): so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT. http://tfl.nu/lt7f
  Replies (27) Good night (1023) Bad night (6053)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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  (904): He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him. http://tfl.nu/bmxc
  Replies (23) Good night (1065) Bad night (2785) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..

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  (503): I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus.. http://tfl.nu/6jqk
  Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (3555) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.

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  (734): Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable. http://tfl.nu/e8ez
  Replies (7) Good night (4734) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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  (678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245
  Replies (13) Good night (1435) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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  (410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5
  Replies (8) Good night (512) Bad night (2177) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

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  (231): I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1 http://tfl.nu/tow3
  Replies (7) Good night (1096) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours

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  (203): I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours http://tfl.nu/8ktt
  Replies (9) Good night (1644) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (285) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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  (613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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  (248): I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/2xdx
  Replies (8) Good night (292) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt

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