I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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