his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
