oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
