So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have already put on my inside pants.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
