He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
