He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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