:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
