Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
