i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize