i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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