Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
