nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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