how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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