I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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