Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
