forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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