What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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