Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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