our cab driver is having phone sex.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize