my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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