i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
