I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
