new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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