Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
