drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
