The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
