I'm lost and stupid without you.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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