Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Found your dick twin last night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
