just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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